Underage smokers, look out
If you are a regular reader of this column, you know about the Geezers who haunt Food Mart at Ninth and Walnut streets. Mostly retired guys, they are free to spend an inordinate amount of time each day just hangin' out and commenting on the world around them.
These guys have been around long enough not to give a rip what anyone thinks of their ideas or opinions. They do not to care whether anyone thinks their jokes are funny (they think they are hilarious) and are not impressed by youthful chutzpah, having once been chutzpah-filled youths themselves.
You know about chutzpah, don't you? Chutzpah means guts, daring, audacity. The Geezer Group members have seen it all and done it all (according to them, anyway). The proprietress of Food Mart is tough and sassy and she wants no grief from any of her customers. She has more chutzpah than any of the Geezers. She also has a business to run and rules to uphold.
Among those rules is one you all know. Shoot, even I know it. It is the rule about buying cigarettes for minors. The rule is you can't. GASP! Yes, it is true. There are all sorts of signs in her store telling you not to do it. And even if there weren't, you already know it is against the law. Yup, you do. You know you do!
And guess what? Things are about to get a little dicey up there for those of you buying smokes for kiddos younger than 18 because the Geezers are going on patrol. They will be watching.
One of them caught an underage would-be smoker sifting through the cigarette butts in the outdoor ashtray a couple of weeks ago. He hiked out the door and said, "Yo, Bubba, are you 18?" The cigarette-butt picker said, " duh-h-h-h-h-hmaphybnelnadhhl
Mary the Proprietress has already called the parents of several older-than-18 youngsters who think it should be their right to buy tobacco products for minors. And she has called parents to rat out the sneaky young smokers who are receiving the tobacco.
"I could lose my license over this," she said. "And I'll tell you what. I am not interested in losing my livelihood just because some idiot wants to be popular with the high school crowd. I want to go on record here
"Not enough to make you nervous? Well, figure this
I would guess her chutzpah is in overdrive. I'm pretty confident we all know what she is talking about and just how she feels about anyone buying tobacco products for the under-18 crowd.
Any questions?
— SUSAN MARSHALL
