Rising out of the pumpkin patch
I rarely read the funny papers anymore. I am not sure why, but I guess I just fell out of the habit many years ago. I don't know if Charlie Brown, Linus, Snoopy, and Lucy are even still on the page. Perhaps they are.
There used to be a running series about one of the characters of that comic strip hiding in a pumpkin patch awaiting the Halloween arrival of the Great Pumpkin. The Great Pumpkin was supposed to do miraculous things and grant all manner of wishes
On the odd chance that the Great Pumpkin has been discovered to actually exist in the decades since I read the funnies, I have decided to make a "Great Pumpkin Wish List" for this Halloween. (I like to cover all my bases. You just never know when wishes might be granted.)
For Marion County Sheriff Lee Becker who has been an Adkins diet advocate for several months, I would wish for a closet of ever shrinking uniforms.
I hope the Great Pumpkin reminds all Jayhawk fans that basketball season is almost here.
For the creep (or creeps) who, a couple of weeks ago, stole the antiquated ornate wrought iron from the old Catholic cemetery on Nighthawk Road, I would ask the Great Pumpkin for guilt-ridden haunted days during the remaining Octobers of their lives. So there! Rotten scoundrels.
I would like for the Great Pumpkin to use his magic and encourage all the citizens of Burns, Florence, and Peabody who might have old community memorabilia stuck away somewhere to donate it to their community museums. The G.P. should remind those folks that many more people would get enjoyment from the items if they were publicly displayed than if they were packed in a box in the attic.
For Atmos Energy, I would wish a file drawer of long forgotten cheap gas purchases that could be passed on to area customers this winter.
It would be terrific if His Royal Pumpkin-ness could encourage the KDOT to actually build the roundabout over at Florence instead of tossing the study on a shelf to gather dust now that the public uproar over the intersection of U.S.-5077 has subsided. That might make a real believer out of me.
I wish for a long and happy married life for two of our friends who are tying the knot Halloween night. Congratulations, Trisha and Bob! Perhaps the Great Pumpkin will take time out from his holiday duties and make a guest appearance.
And finally, I hope the Great Orange Orb reminds our local youngsters that Halloween is for dressing up and having fun. Being wretched and destructive are not part of the G.P.'s plan for a happy Halloween. Of course all our kids are good kids, so there is no reason to expect them to behave any differently, right? Thank goodness for that! The Great Pumpkin will be pleased.
— SUSAN MARSHALL
