Parent searches for answers at town hall meeting
Teen alcohol use
a concern for county
Staff reporter
It's every parent's worst nightmare. The sickening telephone call in the middle of the night to say your son has been killed in a car accident — and there was alcohol involved.
"I'm looking for answers," said Mary Beth Bowers of Marion, in opening remarks Thursday evening at a countywide town hall meeting to discuss underage alcohol abuse.
More than 50 people attended the meeting to hear comments and discussion about the age-old problem.
Bowers was a member of a panel to discuss topics pertinent to teen alcohol abuse. She said she was a frustrated parent because she doesn't know how to "get to" teens to impress the dangers of teen drinking.
Bowers and husband Greg recently lost son Stephen in a car accident when a car he was riding in lost control and rolled. Stephen was thrown from the vehicle and died a short time later.
Other members of the panel were Erin Engelken, Eighth Judicial District Court Services; Teresa Walters, Flint Hills Regional Prevention Center; and Jami Lawless, Prairie View.
Eighth Judicial District Chief Judge Mike Powers was the moderator with Linda Ogden, director of Communities in Schools of Marion County, presenting information and introducing the panel.
Recent research indicates the human brain is not fully developed until people are in their early 20s.
The part of the brain that governs emotions matures earlier than the part responsible for planning, self-control, and decision-making.
Extensive alcohol use in teens may result in reduced brain activity and memory loss.
"Teens who wait at least until they are 21 years old will have a less chance of being alcoholics as adults," said Ogden.
Ogden said the county town hall meeting was part of a nationwide awareness campaign to encourage parents to start talking to their teens before the teens start drinking.
The media plays a major role in teen drinking because of the saturation of advertisements on television, at sporting events and community events, and billboards.
"It's socially acceptable," said Walters. "The main characters on a television show grabs a drink when he walks in the door."
Availability of alcohol also is a factor. Children observe alcohol use by parents and think it's OK.
"We need to change the adult's attitude," said Walters.
It's more difficult these days for youth because both parents are working away from the home and less time is being spent as a family.
"Kids don't feel they have other options," said Lawless. She added that parents don't see alcohol abuse to be as dangerous as other drugs.
Bowers still struggles with why her son was tempted.
"Greg and I don't use alcohol but Stephen's attitude was other parents are giving it to their kids," said Bowers.
Bowers said she would like to get to those adults who provide alcohol to minors.
"Parents need to communicate with their children to fill gaps," said Engelken. Education also is important.
"I have 40 kids on probation who consistently say there is nothing to do," she said.
Bowers said she constantly asks herself, "What did we do wrong? Where did we fail?"
"We're mystified," she added. She related to the commercial where the wife was literally on the husband's back to have a medical test.
"I wished we had done that with Stephen," said Bowers.
Engelken said parents' jobs are not to be their children's friends but to protect and direct.
"Parents and teens should sign a contract regarding rules, chores, and expectations," she said.
Walters said research indicates that today's youth don't socially drink but binge drink where large amounts of alcohol are consumed in a short period of time.
Bowers said she asked a friend of Stephen's why he drank. The friend responded he drank to be part of the crowd and he didn't want to be the only sober one.
Hillsboro Police Chief Dan Kinning said he has referred many families to Prairie View and wondered how many actually received treatment.
"Nine out of 10 times I'll see teens (and their families) after they're in trouble," said Lawless.
Phil Smith, pastor of Valley United Methodist Church of Marion, said if someone had told him 10 years ago that smoking would be turned around, he wouldn't have believed it. Can this be compared to drinking, he asked?
Marion County Sheriff Lee Becker commented that his department will seek and arrest adults who provide alcohol to minors.
Gordon Mohn, superintendent of USD #410, asked why the media doesn't print names of minors caught for underage drinking? Becker responded information is available to the newspapers for youth 14 years of age and older and it was up to the individual editors to determine whether to print it.
Nancy Pihl of Hillsboro asked what a resident should do regarding illegal drug activity in a neighborhood? Becker said his and other agencies rely on the public coming forward with information. He commended her willingness to report such matters.
Pat Enos, Marion resident and aunt to Stephen Bowers, said parents have to band together and need to know what's going on.
"Our kids need to know that parents are going to show up at parties and activities their children are attending," said Enos.
