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One more time

Can you stand to listen to one more commentary on bullying? If not, move on to another portion of the newspaper. If you are interested, stay with me here and read what has come out of the past few weeks of the controversy surrounding the alleged bullying of a foreign exchange student at our high school.

I certainly hit a sore spot when I called our very own bullies "thugs and losers," didn't I? Well, sometimes it is just necessary to call a spade a spade. Bullies are thugs. Bullies are losers. Period, the end. If you made Renato Pareja's life miserable, then yes, I was talking to you.

I have not changed my mind. In fact, if anything after the past month or so, I am more convinced than ever that bullying is a problem at Peabody-Burns schools. It seems we don't need to import students from other countries to prove our lack of tolerance.

Consider Marie Unruh's comments in her letter to me about PBHS. We have stellar students. We have great athletes and musicians, youngsters who work hard, who mentor younger kids, want to change the world, are involved, and who achieve a great deal. Sure enough, you'll get no argument from me on that. They achieve, just as generations of students before them have achieved. It always is so in a school this size. It is one of the great things about having a small town high school. Most of our young people get to be involved in many classes and activities in which they couldn't compete, much less excel, in a larger school. It is one of the best selling points we have.

Now consider some of the comments I have heard from parents and patrons since I opened the topic. "Thanks for taking a stand on bullying. Please stay on this. I have already talked to the administrators and they think my child 'invites it.' My son (daughter) has been bullied since (take your pick here) kindergarten, third grade, any grade, getting glasses/braces, gaining weight, moving here, entering junior high, hitting puberty (early or late), having a crush on a girl (boy), entering high school, dropping out of sports, etc." Or "my son (daughter) has been bullied because of what he/she wears (we can't afford better), his/her size, facial blemishes, race, freckles, hair, shoes, ability, etc." Or "I know you and Janet (Post) took some flack for this, but you did all the rest of us a favor. You'll never know how glad my son (daughter) is that someone publicly recognized what goes on."

I had no idea. I thought I was giving an opinion about a single student from another country.

A man I don't know, but have seen around town, stopped me to say thanks for the editorial comment. He had a young boy of junior high age with him. As the child shuffled his feet and looked at the floor, the father told me how his son and several friends make it through a day at Peabody-Burns Junior/Senior High School. They have made a science of staying together whenever they can. They hope the teacher lets them out as soon as the bell rings so that together they can "blend in" and get to the next class quickly. They don't drink anything so that they don't have to go into the bathrooms. They try not to arrive at school too early or stay too late . . . if they do they are prime targets. They don't express pleasure in art or music or any other classes that they might enjoy because it invites ridicule. They are pushed and shoved and threatened. Most of the threats are vague, but they are scared anyway. The boy was obviously embarrassed that his dad would tell me this. He was afraid I would name him. He looked at the floor and then at me and he said, "It's not so bad. I can handle it."

Why should he?

You might be interested in knowing that not a single person except Marie Unruh expressed his or her objections about my opinion column to me or to the newspaper. I am well aware that there was thunderous rancor pitched around behind my back, but none of those parents, kids, staff, or board members ever directed a single comment to me. Nothing, not one word. So much for them having the presence of their convictions.

The only comments I received (more than three dozen, I counted) were statements of agreement, encouragement, or appreciation. To me that speaks volumes.

It will be interesting to see where this topic goes from here. And yes, I know that a questionnaire was recently sent home to find out just how prevalent bullying might be in our schools. That's a start. Hopefully it will one day mean that someone in this district stands up for the boy who "can handle it" so that he never has to do so again. It's time to move forward and really address this issue.

If you are not a part of the solution, you are part of the problem.

— SUSAN MARSHALL

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