New year with new resolve
Did you make a bunch of New Year's resolutions? I thought about it. And I resolved to think about it some more
If you were planning on executing a new fitness plan you couldn't have asked for a better day to start walking or jogging than the first day of 2004. What a great day to get going on a new you! However, the weather has gone downhill since then and the fat is still congealing on your thighs and mid-section. Not to worry, April will be here soon. By then all those holiday calories will have settled in for the long haul. Shortly after April comes Kansas summer when it is just way too hot to jog or walk or even move. Accept those pounds. "Ewe's not fat, ewe's fluffy," or whatever that too-cute saying may be.
See how easy it is to worm your way out of New Year's resolutions? For some of you it will take until April — four more long months. For me, it only took three paragraphs.
The Married Daughter and her Spouse got us a DVD player for Christmas. (Is that right? Is it a DVD player or just a DVD? Or is the plain DVD the thing you play on a DVD player?) Anyway, they even got us something called a modulator, which apparently one needs to hook up the DVD thingy to an old television. Of course that is what we have. I was pretty sure from all the hyped commercials I have seen about how great it is to own DVD stuff, that we were in for a real treat once we got that baby and its modulator hooked up.
Well, bless my soul. Guess what? The only difference in our viewing pleasure is that now it takes three (count 'em, THREE) remote controls to get the television to do what it is supposed to do. The mister (who always is in charge of the "remote") is in hog heaven. So many buttons, so little time!
The picture quality on our television has not changed. It is not better. It is not clearer or bigger or brighter. It is not more defined or more colorful. It is the same old picture. But it is now more complicated to change the channel, adjust the volume, or just SHUT THE DARNED THING OFF! Whoa, am I glad we got the DVD stuff.
Of course the problem is that we need a new television. Ain't gonna happen. There is nothing wrong with the one we have. A new one will only have more buttons and each button will be black and very small. The function of each button will be printed in little tiny letters that I won't be able to see or little tiny symbols that I won't understand.
And now that we have them, I am not sure I could separate the mister from all those remote controls anyway. I think I will just skip watching TV and get back to basics, try to learn this high-tech stuff from the ground up. I'll dig out the instructions for my microwave and see if I can learn how to do something besides boil water or defrost chicken breasts. If I still can't figure that out I am just going to start walking in the evenings no matter what the weather. Sounds like a resolution to me. Right
— SUSAN MARSHALL
