Missed the anniversary issue
I can't believe I did it! I missed the one-year anniversary of my job as news editor of the Peabody Gazette-Bulletin. As of February first I have been at this for a whole year. I wonder what happened to my party? I should check on that the next time I go to Marion. I should have had an expense account for a big shindig here in the back room of Jackrabbit Hollow. I could have had a sign that said, "I survived — I'm NOT the weakest link
Oh, well, it's too late now. How do you throw a one-year and three issues anniversary party?
Actually, the original plan last year was that I would take this job on a temporary basis while Hoch Publishing looked for someone with a burning desire to do it permanently. From time to time, when I've asked about being replaced, they have assured me that they are looking. I am just not sure where they are looking. It's like the O.J. Simpson thing, I think. While O.J. searches the golf course for a killer, Hoch Publishing is looking in the storeroom for an extra news editor.
Even so, I can't believe I didn't throw myself a party. I stuck with this for a year, so I know I deserve it. How could I have missed it?
I admit I have learned a lot. Most of what I have learned is how to function when the high tech equipment on which I rely does NOT function. I have learned some journalism things, but do you know that the Associated Press puts out a book of journalism rules that is an inch thick? Yikes! That's way too many rules for this '60s child. I have also learned how to multiply by column inches instead of just numbers. And I have learned that I hate meetings. I used to like meetings when I could go to them and talk. Now I have to sit there with my mouth shut and listen to other people. I have to take copious notes and then report what those people say even when I think they are incompetent dolts.
And, of course you know that I have learned that I will never please all the people all the time. Not ever.
I've discovered a few fun things about doing this job. One thing (as I said a couple of weeks ago) is that all sorts of people think I know what is going on. That is kind of fun. Another thing is that sometimes people say they like something Janet and I have covered or a feature or editorial one of us has written. And I always get the news before everyone else! I don't have to wait for the paper to arrive because I already know what is in it. Of course, once in a while there are surprises and some things that were supposed to be in there are not. I am pretty sure the folks in Marion do that on purpose to see if I am paying attention.
There are many parts of this I still don't understand. Like how do editors come up with an editorial comment week after week? Why do some people just refuse to cooperate when cooperation would make them look so good? And why do some people whine when whining makes them look so bad?
I have learned that my computer is programmed to do some funny things. You will like this part. If I type in "mm" the computer will automatically change those two letters to "Mr. and Mrs." How's that for a nifty shortcut when I have many married couple's names to type in a social item? Another short cut is one I have never figured out. If I type the word "gun" it is automatically changed to "mailman." Don't ask me why; I don't know why. To top it off, if I type "mailman" it is automatically changed to "letter carrier." I don't understand that one either. I think that maybe I am not ever supposed to write about a postal employee discharging a firearm in a post office. The headline, "Mailman fires 9mm gun" would read "Letter carrier shoots 9 Mr. and Mrs. Mailman." This is probably a big journalism secret that everyone else knows. Maybe someone will tell me now that I have been on task for so long.
But I should have had a party. After all, it has been a year.
I think I'll just ask for a raise instead. "Happy one year and three issues to me
— SUSAN MARSHALL
