Give it a rest

This is not a new topic. I have said this right in this space on at least a couple of other occasions: everyone is a comedian. You people think you have a corner on humor. Yeah, right. After I have heard it a dozen times or so, it is no longer funny. In fact, after the second or third time it is no longer funny.

Don't send me anymore web site addresses directing me toward information about SPAM. I don't care. I only cared about SPAM long enough to write the opinion column for the past week's Peabody Gazette-Bulletin. Now I don't care anymore.

I don't care if you like it. I don't care if you eat if frequently or if you have terrific recipes. I don't care if it is your favorite anything. It is still SPAM. And I am still not having any, thank you very much. At my age, I can say that. If I were 10, I couldn't say it. I would have to keep still and eat whatever was put on my plate. Now that I am wa-a-ay-y-y past 10 I don't have to do that anymore. So I'm saving my portion for you, because you are so funny.

Every web site I have received has included one fact that I think is pretty amazing: Nikita Khrushchev once said that SPAM was the only thing that kept the Russian Army from starving to death during World War II. Now, I have to ask you this: have you seen pictures taken of the Russian Army during World War II? If SPAM was so wonderful and that was all they were eating, do you think Hormel would advertise the fact that those poor people looked like that?

Well, no. I don't think so either.

I'm pretty sure there is still a Hormel connection to Peabody so I am going to just drop this subject now. Last thing on earth I want is a July Fourth SPAM gift-pack. There is no humor in that! And all of you would have to come to the annual Whiz-bang event to help us use it up.

Being funny people and all, that would be right down your alley.