Fashion police have arrived
People disguise all kinds of information as a press release. Usually it is an advertisement that is dressed up to be informative and someone e-mails or faxes the information to me in hope that I will run it as a news story. Authors of sports columns, cooking columns, or business columns send sample press releases and tell me that my readers will enjoy them! No doubt. Sometimes people just want to promote their own publication or their own political agenda. The state of Kansas sends dozens of "press releases" every week from all sorts of Topeka offices.
I have to admit that I seldom read any of that stuff. But a week or so ago I got one that kind of peaked my interest so I printed it off and thought about it for awhile. I think you will get kick out of this so I am going to share it with you.
First of all it comes from the "Old Farmer's Almanac." Now what kind of topics does that name conjure up for you? Horse liniment for minor aches and pains? Washing tips for denim bib overalls? Advice on putting straw between the layers of potatoes you're storing in the root cellar? A calendar of waxing and waning moon symbols and temperatures?
What about this: fashion tips for 2007 from the "Old Farmer's Almanac?" You have to admit that makes you sit up and take notice. I actually read the article. I even considered using it except that we don't have a "Happy Homemaker's Household Hints" column. I decided "Old Farmer's Almanac fashion tips" is bound to be some kind of oxymoron.
But just in case it isn't, here is what they predict for women's wear in the coming year: "unique handcrafted clothing — the more detail the better." Okay, I'll give them that. It's a pretty vague fashion forecast, could mean anything. Hint number two: "skinny, 1980s-style jeans and tight leggings paired with voluminous tops." Well, of course! Every fashion maven has her closet full of flare-leg jeans and itsy-bitsy blouses that don't cover her midriff. Why wouldn't the fashion police tell us those things are no longer hip? That's how we keep the economy rolling along.
Tip number three: " 'ethical' clothing brands, from apparel makers using recycled fabrics and family-run factories instead of sweatshops." Now that is a great sentiment and a good plan. But how many sweatshop labels do you have in your clothes? (I can't think of any "Made in USA" labels that indicate sweatshop standards, but then it has been years since I have been able to buy ANY piece of clothing that says, "Made in USA.") And how will we know which out-sourced label comes from a sweatshop and which doesn't?
For men the "Old Farmer's Almanac" predicts the use of "unexpected fabrics
Another item for men is "self-designed clothes." I think Levi Strauss already did that a couple of generations ago. Don't you just know the Geezer Group at Food Mart is going to grab onto this idea and run with it? They will be "self-designing" fashion items for weeks to come.
Well, there you have it. A press release I couldn't bring myself to treat with solemn consideration and print in the pages of this newspaper. See what a tough job I have filtering out all the nonsense so you can read about important local issues every week? At least I saved you from the "Old Farmer's Almanac" fashion police. Whew, that was a close one!
— SUSAN MARSHALL
