How did I get so lucky?

I had an odd thing happen when I got my mail Saturday and I want to share it with you. I got two notifications from automobile companies. Both were addressed to me personally, not to the Marshall Family, the Marshall Neighbors, or even Mr. and Mrs. Bob Marshall. Just to me. That in itself is fairly rare, although not completely unknown.

The first was from the Mazda Corporation informing me that the passenger-side air bag in my car has some faulty parts that in areas of extreme humidity can cause it to deploy abnormally during a crash. Such an event could cause severe injury or death to a front seat passenger or the driver.

Luckily, I can get this situation repaired at no cost. Unluckily, I will have to wait because there are no parts currently available to repair and/or replace the faulty whatever that is causing the problem. However, they did send an email address and a phone number to call if I have any questions. They have no answers, but I can call them if it will make me feel better.

They also will let me know when my “region” has parts available to fix the problem. Apparently, there will be a study of sorts made to determine which regions have extreme humidity and airbags in those areas will be repaired first. The driest parts of the country will be last. I am betting that Kansas is in that final accounting.

Even though Kansas seems to be more humid than when I first moved here, it is not nearly as bad as it is elsewhere. We are not in Death Valley, where Mazdas will likely be last on the list, but neither are we in swampy Louisiana or Florida.

In the meantime, I am not supposed to let anyone ride in the front passenger seat. How many times have I said that I hate that car? Well, this is one more reason.

In the same bunch of mail was a heavy full-color slick-stock notice that I am invited to attend a “Mercedes-Benz Certified Pre-owned SALES EVENT from August 2 through August 31.” Well, explode my air bag! Me, invited to an event at the house of Mercedes-Benz, to check out someone’s used automobile. All I need to do is contact my local authorized Mercedes-Benz dealer by August 31.

Once again, it is addressed just to me. Inside there are pictures of nice-looking vehicles and a ton of teeny tiny print explaining all the great stuff that comes with a pre-owned Mercedes-Benz and all the stuff that does not. I can almost hear Janis Joplin in background, “Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a pre-owned Mercedes-Benz….” Almost, but not quite.

What I actually want to know is who sold a mailing list with my name on it? I know the Mazda Corporation got my name from my purchase of their product, but how did Mercedes-Benz get my name? I have never even thought about owning such a vehicle.

I leave my cars outside, for Pete’s sake. Birds do their business on them and hail, rain, and snow pound them according to season. I have many trees along my driveway and they litter my car with leaves, branches large and small, wormy things that deposit excrement in the spring, and much more. My steering wheel and light upholstery are streaked with printer’s ink from handling newspapers every week.

I would be a Mercedes-Benz defiler and Janis would spin in her grave. So how did they get my name?

I hate it that I am on a mailing list that has been sold. That is just one more thing about which I will now worry. It is like people lurking around on social media pages, life insurance companies that try to sell me more coverage every week, and the awful political mailers that have inundated my home in the past few months.

I am not in the market for what they are selling and I think it is creepy that they have found me. I am being stalked by Mercedes-Benz and am in danger of dying at the hands of Mazda Corp. What a way to start the month.


Last modified Aug. 11, 2016